Slip a sable under the tree....

I hate commercials this time of year. Apparently women are supposed to want shiny, expensive things for Christmas. And they are supposed to feel unloved if they instead receive something with a modicum of utility. The jewelry stores (namely Bruce G. Weber in Utica Square) have been especially insistent this year.

Basically quoting the hot young perky blond in the commercial "I'm so lucky. He gives me jewelry from Bruce G. Weber. I love that he picks it out for me."

Another one, with the same spokeswoman, this one is nominally targeting men, "If she sees a Bruce G. Weber box under the tree, she's going to be so excited." Subtext: She's going to do whatever you want for hours. You know, in the bedroom.

Oh yeah, we're supposed to want cars too. To do it right, it has to be a Lexus with a big bow waiting for us in the driveway on Christmas morning.

I don't know of anyone who has actually received a car for Christmas, but I know I would pretty much react as follows: What do you mean you spent half the value of a modest house on something that has already depreciated to the quarter of the value of a modest house? And quadrupled our insurance premiums? And added a significant chunk of debt to our names and potentially hurt our collective credit? Without consulting me?

The best gift I have received is a collection of tools from Restoration Hardware the first Christmas I had with my now husband. They still come in handy, and are probably worth as much as a Lexus would be worth five years later.