The Feminist Pessimist

Journey of giving birth to a girl in a world that just wants her to bake cookies for the boys.

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Location: Tulsa, OK, United States

I am a software quality assurance engineer and manager for Statistica. I love math, programming, and problem isolation & solving. Any opinions expressed are my own and not necessarily that of my employer.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Good things to remember

My friend Karen sent this to me today from Glamour magazine. I think I'm going to make a cross-stitch of the last one and hang it in the baby's crib.

The 7 best (and worst) things you can say to a girl

What you say does make an impression. Make sure it’s a good one.
Never say…
“I feel fat.”
After a second helping of stuffing, sure you do. But beware! If she sees you hating your body, she may learn to loathe hers, says Courtney E. Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.

“You’re young. You’ll get over it.”
Yes, she’ll survive being blown off by her so-called friend. But that doesn’t make it sting less right now. Ask how you can help.

“Men suck.”
Bashing just feeds an us-versus-them mentality, says psychologist Rita Haley, Ph.D.

“Sure you want to eat that?”
Eating a honking slab of pie is much less damaging to her than the feeling that everything she puts in her mouth is fodder for scrutiny.

“Paris is such a slut.”
Whatever you think of Ms. Hilton, trashing women teaches girls to be mean, says psychologist Sharon Lamb. Bring up Nancy Pelosi instead. Research suggests that talking with girls about female politicians can help them aspire to leadership roles.

“Guys won’t like you if you…”
It’s never good to change to “get” a guy. Tell her the right one will like every crazy, quirky thing about her.

“These are the best years of your life.”
High school?! As if.

Always say…
“Do anything fun today?”
Life isn’t all about achievements; this could help her find her passion.

“That was a brave thing to do.”
When girls stand up for someone or something they believe in, we should stand up and cheer. After all, that’s the mark of a leader.

“Let’s go for a run.”
Simply getting her going can boost her mood and self-image. Exercise also gives her confidence in her body’s strength.

“You can be anything; you don’t have to be everything.”
“You go, girl” is always a great message, but she also needs to know that when and if she wants to, she can slow down.

“Just know I’m here. No pressure. No judgment.”
It’s helpful if she knows she can turn to someone, even if she doesn’t end up doing so, says Haley.

“YUM!!!!”
Teach her to enjoy her food, not battle it.

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s so-true words tell her that if she wants to break the rules sometimes, you have her back.

1 Comments:

Blogger Beta Bunny said...

I was inspired by your post and revived my old blog - I linked to yours here: http://mystiquefree.blogspot.com/2007/11/inspired.html

November 08, 2007 8:02 AM  

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