Why WCA?
We were *so* thrilled with Emerson's daycare at the YWCA until six weeks ago. Then they hired a new site director who was either tasked with or took it upon herself to spend less money.
This is when we started to notice some changes. Emerson's primary teacher doesn't get there until 8. But the lady who is supposed to watch her before 8 doesn't get there until 7:15, or I should say isn't allowed to clock in until 7:15 and is reprimanded if she clocks in one minute early. Since the facility opens at 7, I usually show up a few minutes after 7 in order to be at work by 7:30 or earlier. If I got there before 7:15, I am allowed to leave Emerson in another room, but the site management made it clear with tone and body language that they weren't happy about it since Emerson is a big kid and shouldn't be in with the little babies.
This didn't really phase us...We thought it was just a transitional time, we'll give it a chance, it's not better anywhere else, etc.
Then a bunch of small things that started piling up. One day, I picked up Emerson and she was wearing one shoe. Which was on the wrong foot. It happens...I've done it once before myself...No big deal.
She came home once, red as a fire engine with a sunburn despite us having sent sunscreen. One mistake...she was fine the next day...no big deal.
I had to take Cricket to the vet this morning, so Rod dropped Emerson off at daycare. I was curious if any of the staff had shown up on time after the long weekend so I asked Rod about it. It still sounded hectic there according to him, so I dropped by this afternoon at the end of the toddlers' nap time.
Emerson apparently doesn't have a crib anymore. She has a mattress on the floor.
Which made it even more horrifying to see that the gate to her classroom was left open.
I wasn't worried about her getting out into the world since the front door is so heavy, but the lobby is not especially childproofed. Think computers on dangly cords and electrical outlets.
I sarcastically asked the office lady who was covering Em's room if the gate to the room was usually left open, expecting something resembling an apology. She said "no - if we did, the kids would be gone". Yeah - like they could have been just then.
This office lady was scrambling around trying to cover everyone else's breaks while answering the phone and handling other office and administrative tasks. I don't know if Em's "usual" teacher was out on break or sick or what. I say "usual" because she's had 3 teachers in the past 3 months.
The leaving the gate open, along with the dismissive attitude when I inquired about it has led us to make today Em's last day at this facility.
I'm taking tomorrow off and going to seek out care elsewhere. I have several good recommendations from people who are currently using care at these places (who presumably love their own kids). A few of which have openings now or in the near future.
This is actually going to turn into a feminist rant.
The motto of the YWCA is "eliminating racism, empowering women".
I do not currently feel very empowered.
1. I had to make the very difficult decision of whether to leave her there for the duration of the afternoon, or take her home and have to explain everything to my employer afterward. I have child care because, aside from illness, I want to be able to focus on my job during the day. One reason I think women are at a disadvantage in the workforce is that employers and potential employers sometimes assume that women are more preoccupied with their children than men are. I want to do everything I can to not give my employers and coworkers cause to believe this. And I honestly do believe that my employers "get" this about me and our other female employees.
2. After deciding that she was probably going to be OK there for a few more hours, my husband and I planned our next move. Do we pull her out now? Do we take time off of work while we find a new place? Who is going to take off the time? If we don't take off the time and something bad happens while a new place opens up, won't we regret it a lot? Are we overreacting? We decided that no, we were not overreacting and yes, we would regret it if something bad happened. It turns out that the employees at my husband's company had been reprimanded that very day for taking too much unscheduled PTO and have a release coming out in six weeks. And the other side of the coin of women being assumed to be responsible for children is that men are assumed NOT to be responsible for children. So Rod would probably get hassled more for taking time off of work for this purpose than I would. And in these tough economic times, yada yada yada. And since my husband makes more than I do anyway...the decision was complete. And that's how women get crapped on in the workforce. Child care is supposed to even out the playing field, but only if it is child care that can be trusted. If this drags out longer than next few days, my husband and I will work out a decent arrangement between us and with our employers so that neither of our careers suffers long term damage. But that's only because my career is important to me and my husband and I'm willing to fight for it if he ever happens to forget in the future. I'm lucky to have a guy who takes my place in the workforce seriously. A lot of women don't have that.
3. At the end of June, I was going to take my first few days off in quite a while that weren't directly parent- or child-care related. We were going to do some traveling. But nope, chances are I'll have to use these days off caring for my kid. Which will be fun and time well spent, but certainly not empowering.
4. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm lucky enough to have been at my job for 3 years and have a good, understanding relationship with my employers. I have paid time off. And if I use my paid time off, I have enough money saved so that I don't have to worry if I have to take a few days unpaid. A lot of women aren't so lucky. Many of the families I see there are on subsidy and appear to be going to hourly jobs that probably don't pay a whole lot. What do these people do when they see something fishy at daycare? Maybe they haven't been at their job very long. Maybe they are scared to approach their bosses about taking time off, out of fear of losing their jobs. Maybe they don't have paid days off and simply cannot afford to be without childcare, no matter how much they question its quality. Do you think these women feel very empowered?
I feel good about this decision to pull her out of this place. But it truly sucks that we've had to make it.
This is when we started to notice some changes. Emerson's primary teacher doesn't get there until 8. But the lady who is supposed to watch her before 8 doesn't get there until 7:15, or I should say isn't allowed to clock in until 7:15 and is reprimanded if she clocks in one minute early. Since the facility opens at 7, I usually show up a few minutes after 7 in order to be at work by 7:30 or earlier. If I got there before 7:15, I am allowed to leave Emerson in another room, but the site management made it clear with tone and body language that they weren't happy about it since Emerson is a big kid and shouldn't be in with the little babies.
This didn't really phase us...We thought it was just a transitional time, we'll give it a chance, it's not better anywhere else, etc.
Then a bunch of small things that started piling up. One day, I picked up Emerson and she was wearing one shoe. Which was on the wrong foot. It happens...I've done it once before myself...No big deal.
She came home once, red as a fire engine with a sunburn despite us having sent sunscreen. One mistake...she was fine the next day...no big deal.
I had to take Cricket to the vet this morning, so Rod dropped Emerson off at daycare. I was curious if any of the staff had shown up on time after the long weekend so I asked Rod about it. It still sounded hectic there according to him, so I dropped by this afternoon at the end of the toddlers' nap time.
Emerson apparently doesn't have a crib anymore. She has a mattress on the floor.
Which made it even more horrifying to see that the gate to her classroom was left open.
I wasn't worried about her getting out into the world since the front door is so heavy, but the lobby is not especially childproofed. Think computers on dangly cords and electrical outlets.
I sarcastically asked the office lady who was covering Em's room if the gate to the room was usually left open, expecting something resembling an apology. She said "no - if we did, the kids would be gone". Yeah - like they could have been just then.
This office lady was scrambling around trying to cover everyone else's breaks while answering the phone and handling other office and administrative tasks. I don't know if Em's "usual" teacher was out on break or sick or what. I say "usual" because she's had 3 teachers in the past 3 months.
The leaving the gate open, along with the dismissive attitude when I inquired about it has led us to make today Em's last day at this facility.
I'm taking tomorrow off and going to seek out care elsewhere. I have several good recommendations from people who are currently using care at these places (who presumably love their own kids). A few of which have openings now or in the near future.
This is actually going to turn into a feminist rant.
The motto of the YWCA is "eliminating racism, empowering women".
I do not currently feel very empowered.
1. I had to make the very difficult decision of whether to leave her there for the duration of the afternoon, or take her home and have to explain everything to my employer afterward. I have child care because, aside from illness, I want to be able to focus on my job during the day. One reason I think women are at a disadvantage in the workforce is that employers and potential employers sometimes assume that women are more preoccupied with their children than men are. I want to do everything I can to not give my employers and coworkers cause to believe this. And I honestly do believe that my employers "get" this about me and our other female employees.
2. After deciding that she was probably going to be OK there for a few more hours, my husband and I planned our next move. Do we pull her out now? Do we take time off of work while we find a new place? Who is going to take off the time? If we don't take off the time and something bad happens while a new place opens up, won't we regret it a lot? Are we overreacting? We decided that no, we were not overreacting and yes, we would regret it if something bad happened. It turns out that the employees at my husband's company had been reprimanded that very day for taking too much unscheduled PTO and have a release coming out in six weeks. And the other side of the coin of women being assumed to be responsible for children is that men are assumed NOT to be responsible for children. So Rod would probably get hassled more for taking time off of work for this purpose than I would. And in these tough economic times, yada yada yada. And since my husband makes more than I do anyway...the decision was complete. And that's how women get crapped on in the workforce. Child care is supposed to even out the playing field, but only if it is child care that can be trusted. If this drags out longer than next few days, my husband and I will work out a decent arrangement between us and with our employers so that neither of our careers suffers long term damage. But that's only because my career is important to me and my husband and I'm willing to fight for it if he ever happens to forget in the future. I'm lucky to have a guy who takes my place in the workforce seriously. A lot of women don't have that.
3. At the end of June, I was going to take my first few days off in quite a while that weren't directly parent- or child-care related. We were going to do some traveling. But nope, chances are I'll have to use these days off caring for my kid. Which will be fun and time well spent, but certainly not empowering.
4. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm lucky enough to have been at my job for 3 years and have a good, understanding relationship with my employers. I have paid time off. And if I use my paid time off, I have enough money saved so that I don't have to worry if I have to take a few days unpaid. A lot of women aren't so lucky. Many of the families I see there are on subsidy and appear to be going to hourly jobs that probably don't pay a whole lot. What do these people do when they see something fishy at daycare? Maybe they haven't been at their job very long. Maybe they are scared to approach their bosses about taking time off, out of fear of losing their jobs. Maybe they don't have paid days off and simply cannot afford to be without childcare, no matter how much they question its quality. Do you think these women feel very empowered?
I feel good about this decision to pull her out of this place. But it truly sucks that we've had to make it.
posted by Amanda Shankle-Knowlton | 6:46 PM
3 Comments:
Oh, the stress of daycare stuff. You're so right about all of this! After a couple of bad daycare experiences, I was lucky enough to finally find someone nearby who could take my son during the day, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Luckily, in my case, things have worked out extremely well.
At the second daycare, I was happy for a while because it was my daughter's old place (he even had the same teachers that my daughter had years ago, and they were great!) But then he moved to the "older infant" classroom and the trouble started. Since my daughter was there, the ownership had changed from what was once a small chain to a national chain. As a result, profits/cost-cutting were taking a priority. On one hand, they made sure they always had the exact legal ratios of caregiver:children. But they completely ignored the spirit of that law, because if there were ever just slightly "too many" caregivers at one time, they shuffled all the kids around and sent someone home.
Not only did this make the hours unpredictable for the caregivers, but kids ended up with a big parade of different people watching them in a given week. But hey, it was OK because the ratios were "perfect", and when any prospective parent came to visit, everything seemed so safe and lovely. Never mind that kids need consistency, caring, and someone who actually knows who they are! Stuff got mixed up all the time, and he was actually once confused for the "other Matthew" (and therefore not given his bottle). They tried to address this with better record-keeping. In my mind, it wasn't better record-keeping they needed. They needed to foster actual, loving, caregiver relationships. Otherwise, it's complete BS. But that might mean treating your employees like human beings, and I guess that costs money. Meh. You've got me started...
But from a different angle, I have to say that you may be worrying a bit much about the way people perceive you at work. This is not to say it's all in your head (it's not). Just that any guilt you might feel is unjustified, IMO. Parents of both genders NEED to be able to take care of their kids (even with good child care situations), just like any employee needs bathroom breaks, time to eat lunch, and time at the end of the day to recuperate. Just because all these things are inconvenient for employeers doesn't mean that employees must internalize the pressure.
Not that it relates to my current job (which is extraordinarily flexible) but in previous jobs it helped me to separate what management expected of me from what I expected of myself. You can still cater to management/play the game (especially in a bad economy), but I don't think it's wise to make it a part of your own value system (i.e. the idea that any parent is completely unburdened while at work). For too long, the "model employee" has been a man with a wife at home to take care of everything, and it seems so annoyingly entrenched!
Odd how both my angles on this were rather anti-management. Well, this is not to say that there aren't great managers out there, but the incentive structures are such (pushing employees to be robots) that at least some degree of protections are in order. Or at least, deeper awareness about what's actually going on.
My 2c!
Wow, it sounds like your daycare was hectic too. And I'm happy you have an arrangement that works for you now. It's a shame that a daycare puts profit over people. I know that they need to stay in business, but they don't seem to consider that trying to keep costs TOO low can affect their revenue by causing people to quit. Ideally the market will work to expel bad daycares, but with frequent ownership turnover causing so much difference even at the same facility and the fact that day care is a good that people typically only consume for 5 years or so, it is hard to be an informed consumer.
I agree that I probably put more pressure on myself than my employers do. I'm definitely a Type A, driven type of person and I don't want to let anyone down or be seen as anything less than 100% committed. It's a personality trait that I think has served me well professionally and academically. What I see as "doing a poor job", other people see as "good enough" or "adequate" rather than "excellent".
I have recently started to think that my over-eagerness to please others might come off as needy and insecure...That maybe I'd be just as well off professionally if I demonstrated that I have the confidence to value my own time and my family.
I hope I wasn't being too presumptuous/advice-y with my comments. I just remember times where I would bounce between guilt at not being a good enough mother and guilt at not being a good enough employee. It was very unpleasant. I hate to think that someone else might feel the same way I did.
As it turns out, I'm not a perfect mom OR a perfect employee, and I never will be. I have my strengths and weaknesses, just like any other person!
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