The Feminist Pessimist

Journey of giving birth to a girl in a world that just wants her to bake cookies for the boys.

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Location: Tulsa, OK, United States

I am a software quality assurance engineer and manager for Statistica. I love math, programming, and problem isolation & solving. Any opinions expressed are my own and not necessarily that of my employer.

Monday, March 17, 2008

It's official...

I'm my 14th work day of maternity leave.
My brain is Jello.
My daughter is doing great. She wants to take everything in when she's awake but she also sleeps like a log. She slept for six hours straight last night because I accidentally shut off the alarm I use to wake myself up to feed her after four hours.
I feel much different as a person. I can't see a baby on TV without getting weepy. It bothers me much more than it used to to hear about bad things happening to children. I'm feeling much more "maternal" than I thought I would. I'm looking forward to all of the cool things we'll get to do with her and teach her when she's older. When I hear a good song, I think about sharing it with her later on. On the other hand, I get sad to think that she's only going to be 19 days old ONCE and I want to her to stay small enough for me to hold in one hand forever.
I'm feeling much less sharp about non-baby related topics than I did before. I watch a lot of news, but I can sit in front of the TV for minutes and realize my mind has been wandering and I have no idea even what the topic is that they have been talking about. I have to read everything over several times because I now type the wrong words.
It's worth it - and my mind will come back once I go back to work and start getting more sleep.

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